Oh Waterbabies, how I hate you so. Let me count the ways... There is soooo much I dislike about you, but yet I keep signing my kids up. Glutton for punishment? Too lazy to find something else? Probably. Here is my top 10 reasons that you make me crazy:
10) We've put a man on the moon and I can have a video conference call with China at the push of a button, but you still can't seem to figure out a way to get your registration to work properly. Funny thing, it has NEVER worked properly in the 4 years I have known you. There is this thing called a "shopping cart" (all the online retailers are doing it now...you should check it out) and with this cart you can actually register multiple kids at a time and pay for them ALL AT ONCE! I'm not kidding! It can even save your credit card information! Seriously, it's not that hard. Figure. it. out.
9) Due to the aforementioned lack of cart...you force me to register each kid separately. Logging in twice. Entering my credit card twice. And, because this seriously-behind-the-21st-century program is so in demand (for reasons I cannot comprehend) if I want a remote chance of getting the classes that I want, I have to have my husband log on from another computer so we can each register a kid the minute the site goes live. If I register one at a time, by the time I get to the second kid the spaces in the class I want are gone. When this happens I have to a) call Waterbabies and get on a 'wait list' (which sucks for them because I'm usually mean) b) register for a time I do not want, causing me to go to the pool 2x in one week (sucks for me - and family - because this makes me mean).
8) If you don't enter your credit card info at the speed of light, a class can become 'not available.' No joke. This happened. (Waterbabies got a call...you're welcome.) I had the class in my hot little hands (notice I didn't say cart) and after I entered in my credit card I got a message that said in the time I selected the class to the time I paid for it (which was all of about 45 seconds), the class was no longer available. Are you freaking kidding me?! Sorry that my 10 key skills are not up to par. Again, I'll bring up the shopping cart. When you put things in it you have a reasonable amount of time to purchase them before they are given away to other consumers. What a concept!
7) When the registration has technical difficulties (like it did last weekend) I get to wake up and do it all over again the following weekend! Yay me!
6) Registration is at 6:30 in the morning. Nothing should be at 6:30 in the morning.
5) Apparently the way you keep kids from outgrowing the program is to prevent them from moving up. Ever. Alexis has been in the same swim class for 4 sessions now. She can teach the class at this point. They gave me some age excuse as to why she can't move up...but I'm well aware it's a scam so they can keep raking in the dough. The girl is a fish. Move her up. (Or I might call you...and we know how you love that.)
4) The other parents. Ok, not all of them...I have met a few nice moms. But most of them. I've learned there are 2 kinds of Waterbabies parents. #1) The "I'm using this 1/2 hour swim lesson as a break" parent. These parents bring a book or stare at their phones the ENTIRE time. Their kids could drown and they would be none the wiser. These poor children do something great in the pool and they look up at mom or dad, and mom or dad are staring at their kindle or phone. Breaks my heart. Pay attention to your kid. It's not free time here people. #2) The "I think I could teach this class better than the teacher" parent. I want to push these parents in the pool. They are constantly barking orders, giving suggestions, or shouting out corrections. Seriously, why do you pay for these lessons? Shut up.
3) Repetition. I get that it's good for young kids, but when you've been in the same class 4 times (and I'm not the only one!), please change it up. I've heard your speech on life jackets every session for the past 4 years. And guess what? The other parents have too! Instead of giving the EXACT same speech each session, how about you ask "Is anyone new to the program? Does anyone not have this information permanently etched in your brain?" If everyone has heard it (and I'm guessing we all have!) then please let's move on and do something else. I'm begging you.
2) Registration gives me nightmares. For real. Which makes me extra excited when I get to do it twice because their ass-backwards registration system fails. Did I mention it's at 6:30 in the morning?
1) To add insult to injury (and the main reason that I hate you), for all of this you charge me $250 per kid! Per session! Note: you really should be paying Alexis, she's teaching the PT3 class at this point...
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